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Greenland, and President Trump

Trump's Greenland Deal: What It Means For Playboi Carti's Legacy

The US, Denmark and Greenland have agreed terms on permanent American control of the island's security. Every other outlet is covering the geopolitics. Somebody has to do the important work.


President Trump announced Friday that the United States, Denmark and Greenland have agreed terms giving the US "permanent control over security" on the island. He said America would "FOREVER have the complete ability to do what is necessary in Greenland," called it an "'Infinite Life' Agreement" at "NO COST," and said work would begin immediately on a large US military presence. Under the terms, American adversaries could not build bases or make sensitive investments there without written US approval.

It is not a purchase, and it is not final. Danish Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen said the agreement "recognises the sovereignty and territorial integrity of the Kingdom and the right of the Greenlandic people to self-determination." Greenland's Prime Minister Jens-Frederik Nielsen framed it as strengthening the territory's security. The three parties expect to sign next week at the UN General Assembly in New York, and it still needs parliamentary approval in both Nuuk and Copenhagen.

So that's the news. Now the part nobody else is willing to address.

Greenland Has Never Had A Carti Show

A fjord in southeast Greenland

Not one. Zero dates. In nine years and four projects, the man has never set foot on the world's largest island.

Greenland also lacks the proper infastructure and population for Playboi Carti to perform there. Greenland boasts a healthy population of 56,000 people, near the size of crowd Playboi Carti is used to performing to on a regular basis. Though, this may change in the future as Greenland expands.

Bases need runways. Runways need cargo capacity. We are not saying the Pentagon is building Carti a venue. We are saying that if one happens to appear, we will be the first to point at it.

The Whole Lotta Red Problem

An iceberg in North Star Bay, Greenland

This is the part that keeps us up.

Whole Lotta Red came out on Christmas Day 2020. An album released in the cold, on one of the coldest days of the calendar, by a man who has now spent six years not visiting the coldest place he could go. This sounds like the perfect place to finally release the long awaited Whole Lotta Red Deluxe Edition that fans have been begging for since release.

Counterpoint: He Was Never Going

We put this to the newsroom and the newsroom unanimously decided Playboi Carti is never going to go to Greenland in the first place. It's too cold for Carti. He likes to stay where its warm. Carti is lazy, he'd rather play Playstation with Lil Uzi Vert.

Where This Leaves The Legacy

This leaves the trajectory of Playboi Carti's legacy mostly unchanged, if not an improvement. While most people with their fancy "Journalism Degress" and "Ivy League Schooling" will say a defence agreement between three governments about Arctic security has no bearing whatsoever on the standing of an Atlanta rapper, we here at Carti News Network believe this will improve Playboi Carti's legacy.

We are that website. We have looked at it from every angle. The legacy is fine and will keep improving.

We will continue monitoring the situation.


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